The Great Transfer - Commuters

People who get on the train between Bradford and Leeds are weird.

I was editing my novel on the way home tonight and got quite into what I was doing, so I barely noticed us pulling in to Leeds train station and two-hundred people getting on the train (hey, I was very into it...). When I was done with a page I looked up to find the aisle packed with fellow commuters and a seat next to me only taken up with my bag and jacket.

Being a gentleman and altogether non-bastard, and feeling a little guilty that I'd made someone stand up, even if for only a couple of minutes, I stood up and said to the two people closest to me "Do you want to sit down?"

A stylish-looking guy with an iPod in just shook his head, leaving the elderly black guy next to him the only person available to take up the spare seat. I repeated my offer and he looked at me, confused, and asked "Why?"

...

Why? Well, I've placed a small incendiary device on the chair next to me and I'm looking to get out of the blast radius. Would you do me a favour and sit down so it can go off?

My actual reply was "Well, people generally like to sit down on a train." He looked at me as though my eyes were nipples and then sat down, hugging his bag to him to protect against the long-haired freak.

People...